I’m not sure if spanking play can be considered a mystical, Tantric sex experience, though it has been known to extract the occasional “Oh God,” from some participants.

Most spanking aficionados (myself included) aren’t quite liberated enough to have a permanent CP bench parked in the living room, but they might get away with The Tantra Chair from Zen By Design, which could easily pass for a funky, modern chaise lounge in a stylish urban loft.

The manufacturer says its creation is “designed to enhance the advanced sexual positions of the Kama Sutra” and is “revolutionizing the lovemaking experience for forward-thinking couples around the world.”

Well we spankos are notoriously forward thinking. Or is that backward thinking? Anyway, we’re definitely open minded about perverting furniture, household grooming items or even cooking utensils to our own nefarious ends — especially if said items won’t spook the relatives.

Which brings me back to the whole double secret aspect of The Tantra Chair: It’s a Karma Sutra platform, disguised as a lounger, which can be secretly used as a spanking bench. That’s at least two layers of helpful subterfuge.

If any of your friends press you about the new chaise, you can simply admit that “Yes, it’s actually a sex chair.” At which point they won’t want to sit on it any more, but they may think you’re kind of hip in the socially-acceptable, wild-vanilla-sex sort of way.

For more information on what seems to be a very high-quality and well-reviewed product, visit The Tantra Chair’s Website. While you’re there, you might also enjoy the soft-core demonstration photos and videos featuring attractive, naked, bendy people. (No spanking, but quite educational anyway.)

And finally, thanks to the kind folks at Zen By Design for providing me with promotional photos of their product. I was upfront about using the shots on a spanking site and ZBD was very cool about that. So good on them.

As the old saying goes, “Do whatever makes you happy. Just don’t do it outside where you might scare the horses.”

Earlier I showed you my hard, wooden spanking chair. This is my soft, comfy spanking chair. Administering justice is vigorous work, after all, so it’s important that a spanker be comfortable.

I’ll admit I might be borderline obsessive when it comes to my spanking hobby. I had a mental picture of the kind of chair I wanted. When I couldn’t find it at the furniture stores, I went to the local upholstery shop and ordered an unfinished chair frame out of one of their supplier catalogs.

Then I picked out a vinyl material that looked like old leather. The shop stained and upholstered the chair frame the way I wanted, and suddenly there it was, my archetypal spanking chair.

A lot of effort, yes, but I really like the darn thing.

Every punishment room needs at least one straight-backed chair for over-the-knee discipline. This particular chair has a metal frame, so even if you’re spanking a wriggler and all four chair legs don’t always stay on the ground, the thing’s not going to buckle underneath you. I also really like the pattern on the chair back.

Another nice thing about this chair is that it has a hard wooden seat. So after you’ve given someone a hot, stinging bottom, just have them plant their little butt down on the wood, make them lift their feet off the floor and put their hands in their laps, and watch them squirm for a few minutes.

A certain well-known bottom was getting an OTK spanking in our playroom on New Years Eve, and at some point her gaze must have lifted from the carpet, because she suddenly exclaimed, “Hey. That table over there has paddles for legs!” 

I purchased this small (and somewhat flimsy) table through Overstock.com. Old world craftsmanship it is not, but the paddle-shaped table legs do make it appropriate for the discipline room, even if the manufacturer was probably trying for a nautical look, not a kinky one.

I really like copper and brass. Last year at the Florida Moonshine party I was this close to buying an antique brass diving helmet at some Greek town known for sponge harvesting. (Common sense got the better of me.)

But I do store my canes in a copper and brass umbrella stand made out of an antique fire extinguisher. (Some talented fellow was selling them on eBay.) It’s really a handsome piece of work.

And I kid you not, the raised text on the brass plate actually reads, “To play, turn bottom up. To stop, turn back.”

By the way, I highly recommend Canes 4 Pain as a source of quality canes, birches and thumpers. If you want to thrash or be thrashed with a bejeweled, one-of-a-kind cane, check out Whyp Dancer’s Crown Jewel collection.